Spring has Sprung!

Today would have been our 35th anniversary.  I miss my Beloved SO much. 

However, today I choose to see what is beautiful.  Spring is here--heralded by this delightful pink weed.  I am of a mind that some flowers which are considered weeds are the most beautiful.

Have a lovely day, sweet Friends.  God is good--for Spring has Sprung!

My Love

Just about now, three years ago, the EMTs were arriving to pull my husband from his chair to begin their work of trying to save his life.

A little earlier I had called 911.  With help from the operator, I had fought hard, giving him CPR.  I had done everything I could to keep my Beloved breathing.  I can still remember how his lips felt under mine as I gave him my life's breath.  After the EMTs arrived, I called our children and they soon appeared.

Right about now, Alan would be in the ambulance on his way to the hospital.  We would be following close behind...

At the hospital, I knelt on the floor next to him as they worked to save his life.  Strangely I felt his presence above the bed and looked up to smile at him.  I kept whispering for him to keep fighting.  And he did.  He tried so hard to come back.

I remember standing to the side with our children.  We were all stunned, clinging to one another.  They worked on him a long time.  I still remember the feeling of disbelief when the doctor gently took me aside to say, "It doesn't look good."  I didn't know what that meant.

They could not keep him.  He kept going in and out.  There was a strange quiet in my soul.  Then I remember whispering if he needed to go, to not worry about me, that the children and I would be alright.  Then instantaneously, unbelievably he was gone.

I felt his loving spirit there with us, as we said our goodbyes.  Suddenly my friend Theresa was there.  She had been on her way to work when God told her to turn around and come to the hospital.  And then Judy was there.

I didn't realize it, but all those who had been working to save Alan's life stood in a circle around us as we said our last goodbyes.  Tears streamed down some of their faces.  As we got ready to leave, they stood quietly grouped in the hallway. 

With tears in his eyes, the head nurse gave me his card and said, "We see a lot of these--but it is rare that we see a family handle a moment like this with such love, respect and dignity.  If you need anything, please call me."

I don't remember how I got home.  Much of the weeks and months after his death are a blur in my mind.

How so much time has passed since Alan flew away--is a mystery to me.  I am healing little by little.  And I have had to work through a lot of things.

Today I honor the love, integrity, laughter, humor, talent and dear sweetness of my Beloved Husband.  I want to thank him for the greatest adventure of my life.  And for the love he gave to me and our children.  He was a wonderful husband and father. 

I will always miss him.

Dory Boats, Starfish and Ocean Waves

It was our 27th Wedding Anniversary.  For three years we've celebrated our wedding anniversary in Pacific City, Oregon.  This is an enchanted place where just about anything could happen.  We were blessed--the weather was fair, the wind crisp and cool.  Here you see Teacup Rock against a spectacularly blue sky.

One can meet the most interesting people walking along the beach.  I thought this young fellow with that wonderful hat was the very picture of magical quality of our weekend.

There was a minus tide which allowed us to walk along places normally covered by the sea.  In particular I enjoyed the colorful starfish curling into the face of the rocks.

I worked hard to capture the teal green of the ocean when the sun shown through the waves.  I was finally able to capture a sense of that illusive color in this sparkling wave.

Above you see one of the most spectacular and fascinating aspects of Pacific City. Every morning the Dory boats go out to sea.  The Dory is a small, shallow-draft boat with high sides, a flat bottom and sharp bow used in commercial fishing.

The boats take turns coming back to shore.  Around mid-afternoon, there's a blast of horn to warn surfers a boat is coming in.  One can watch a Dory boat gather it's strength to fly at the beach full-tilt--engines are unhinged so when the boat  hits the sand, it slides up out of the water, halfway up the beach.  It is a thrill to watch as they come in one after the other!

We climbed the sand dune, where the pathway branches out along the spine of the cliff.  That's where we found this funny fellow.  I can't figure out if he's just grouchy, or if he's puckering up for a kiss!  I call him the Muffin Man.

While we were sitting together on these cliffs, in the cove just below the Muffin Man we saw a great grey whale!  It is the first time I've seen a whale in real life.  I did not get a good picture of the whale--but the memory was magical. 

This rainbow colored rock wall was just above a cave where the water pounded and sighed.  Up on the curve of the rock, I was sure I could see the outline of a mermaid.  Can you see her?  She's silhouetted against the colors of the rock.

Our 27th Anniversary was absolutely lovely.  We came away with so many wonderful memories--it was REALLY hard to go back home!

Flaming Hilltop

My Husband and I traveled to a nearby beach to celebrate our 26th wedding anniversary. The first night it stormed, the fierce force of the wind bending the window glass inward.

But the next three days were balmy--a warm sunny hug over the ocean waves. Thursday night we were treated to this amazing spectacle of a sunset--truly the hills were aflame with passion and beauty.