My Love

Just about now, three years ago, the EMTs were arriving to pull my husband from his chair to begin their work of trying to save his life.

A little earlier I had called 911.  With help from the operator, I had fought hard, giving him CPR.  I had done everything I could to keep my Beloved breathing.  I can still remember how his lips felt under mine as I gave him my life's breath.  After the EMTs arrived, I called our children and they soon appeared.

Right about now, Alan would be in the ambulance on his way to the hospital.  We would be following close behind...

At the hospital, I knelt on the floor next to him as they worked to save his life.  Strangely I felt his presence above the bed and looked up to smile at him.  I kept whispering for him to keep fighting.  And he did.  He tried so hard to come back.

I remember standing to the side with our children.  We were all stunned, clinging to one another.  They worked on him a long time.  I still remember the feeling of disbelief when the doctor gently took me aside to say, "It doesn't look good."  I didn't know what that meant.

They could not keep him.  He kept going in and out.  There was a strange quiet in my soul.  Then I remember whispering if he needed to go, to not worry about me, that the children and I would be alright.  Then instantaneously, unbelievably he was gone.

I felt his loving spirit there with us, as we said our goodbyes.  Suddenly my friend Theresa was there.  She had been on her way to work when God told her to turn around and come to the hospital.  And then Judy was there.

I didn't realize it, but all those who had been working to save Alan's life stood in a circle around us as we said our last goodbyes.  Tears streamed down some of their faces.  As we got ready to leave, they stood quietly grouped in the hallway. 

With tears in his eyes, the head nurse gave me his card and said, "We see a lot of these--but it is rare that we see a family handle a moment like this with such love, respect and dignity.  If you need anything, please call me."

I don't remember how I got home.  Much of the weeks and months after his death are a blur in my mind.

How so much time has passed since Alan flew away--is a mystery to me.  I am healing little by little.  And I have had to work through a lot of things.

Today I honor the love, integrity, laughter, humor, talent and dear sweetness of my Beloved Husband.  I want to thank him for the greatest adventure of my life.  And for the love he gave to me and our children.  He was a wonderful husband and father. 

I will always miss him.

Wreathed in Mist

This is the cedar tree which stands right outside my living room window.  I had never seen the mists so defined before.  It was beautiful and magical.

Keep looking up, my Friends.  One never knows what one might see next.  Life is a mist--a fleeting moment.  Rather like this lovely wraith of cloud.

The moments we have here on earth are priceless treasures. Since my husband flew away to heaven--this has become even more apparent.  Ah, dear friends--take time to tenderly love your family and friends--to show how much you love those who are precious and dear to your hearts.  You will be glad you did. 

And it only takes a moment to smile into the face of a stranger.  Who knows what one warm smile, or what  one small gesture of kindness might inspire?  It can become like the ripples in a pond--an ever-widening influence for good.  It is something to think about. 

Have a lovely week!

Dearest Daddy

That handsome fellow, second from the left, is my Daddy.  How I wish I could have known him then.  One thing I do know of Dad is he was kind--always very kind to those he loved.  I don't know if this was taken before he went to war...or just afterward.

Dad was only 18 years old when he was drafted into the army. I wish I could have known that young man.  Fighting in the war, his capture and experiences in the concentration camp surely changed him from the boy he was before he left home.  He did not speak much about his horrendous experiences in a Nazi concentration camp, until late in life. 

Dad was captured in the Battle of the Bulge.  He was a prisoner of war at Stalag IX-B in Bad Orb, Germany.  His stories of the death march, being cruelly interrogated, packed with fellow prisoners into a train car like sardines and stacking the dead--being tortured, digging mass graves and starvation were hair-raising.  When he came out of the Nazi prison camp nine months after his capture,  Dad only weighed 95 pounds.

I must add here that though he suffered horrifically at the hands of the Nazis, he spoke warmly of the kindness of the German people themselves.

I always thought this was such a cute picture.  Mumsie working away on her first book years ago.  Isn't she cute?  Her latest book will be coming out this summer in the Quilts of Love Series.  It is called A Stitch and a Prayer.  Dad loved having an author as a wife.  He was, as she says, "the wind beneath her wings." 

Daddy delighted in his grandchildren--here are the twins.  Oh,how  he loved his grandchildren and great grandchildren.  Every one of them were precious to his heart and put a twinkle in his eye.

I have always loved this photo--I managed to snap it as his tiny granddaughter and he walked along the pathway.  As you can see, she holds a treasure trove of fircones.  lol

Dad took us camping every year.  Ah, what times we had.  This is a picture of the silly side of Daddy!

Dad and Mom loved one another and shared life together for more than 54 years.  Then a year ago, today...a deadly stroke put him into the hospital.  Mom spent every waking moment with him at the Veteran's Hospital in Portland.

One moment he was there...

A month later he flew away to heaven.

He was a wonderful Dad.  A good man.  A devoted husband and Father and a grand old soldier.  I'm so blessed to be his daughter and I miss him dreadfully.

Today is a difficult day.  I am going to Mumsie's house to help her with some things--so would appreciate your good thoughts and prayers.

May our mighty Creator bless you, dear ones.

Life is good

Spring is here--the sun is shining and the flowers are bursting forth.  Lovely scents layer the air and life is good.

The tests are back!  All blood tests are normal.  There is a cyst which will be closely monitored for awhile--I will be having a mammogram every six months for awhile.  All that's left is to see a skin specialist and I will be home free.  Life is so beautiful!  Thank you for your prayers.  They have meant the world to me.

Unexpected Expected Arrival

 

My adopted Bro's sweet daughter left for the hospital Sunday afternoon.  They barely made it to the hospital before one-two-three, little Josiah was born!

Three hours later I held this new baby boy in my arms.   I was overwhelmed with the amazing detail of his tiny hands and feet.

For a such a small fellow, he sure has a lot of strength in those hands.  One thing is for certain, he has all of us wrapped around his little finger!